I just came across the article Why We Cry: The Truth About Tearing Up
The lowdown on tears: Why some cry easily, others don't cry, and how to handle all those tears, by Kathleen Doheny on WebMD. The article can be found at http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/why-we-cry-the-truth-about-tearing-up.
Interestingly, the article explores why people cry, who cries, the benefits of a good cry,coping with crying, trying not to cry, and the downside of not crying. Overall, crying seems to have a biochemical beneficial effect on humans by releasing stress hormones or toxins from the body while psychologically it allows one to acknowledge one's feelings. While the article discusses how it is good to cry when you can and harmful to suppress emotions the part of the article that really caught my attention was the section on who cries. Women are more often associated with crying and crying is more acceptable of women than of men in society. This is probably directly linked to the idea that women are more emotional, and therefore crying is more acceptable. Yet often crying is associated with vulnerability. Are women really more vulnerable then men? It is true that if you were walking down the street and saw a woman crying as she walked by, you probably wouldn't think twice about it, but instead just assume she was having a bad day. But yet, if you walked by a man crying, you would definitely notice it and probably be so surprised by it that you might say something to your friend. For instance, " That was so strange, I just walked by a man crying." Although it is true that women tend to be more open with their emotions, this does not mean that men do not have them too, they just feel some society pressure to suppress these feelings. However, according to Doheny, it would be better to express them.
Another interesting aspect the article brings up is crying to persuade an audience. The author says, "Lastly, crying has a purely social function, Bylsma says. It often wins support from those who watch you cry. Sometimes, crying may be manipulative -- a way to get what you want, whether you're asking a friend to go shopping with you, your spouse to agree to a luxurious vacation, or your child to get their math homework done." In these situations crying is effectively used as a persuasive element. Crying would contribute largely to the pathos of an argument and cause the audience to empathize with the speaker and want to help him or her. The audience then realizes they can help criers by doing what the crier is asking. Thus the crying is an emotional appeal that has a powerfully persuasive effect. Little children do this all the time, and I am sure adults employ this method occasionally as well. However, using it in an academic field might not be appropriate because of existing social values that do not allow emotion in the workplace, despite the fact that it is an entirely human phenomena.
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Hey Amanda,
ReplyDeleteThis was a very interesting post to read. I agree that there is that double standard between men and women and for whom it is socially acceptable to cry. I would probably have the same reaction you described if I saw a woman or a man crying.
It is also interesting that you bring up using crying as a persuasive device to elicit pathos. It is true that many people cry to manipulate others to do what they want-I have definitely been guilty of this. However, this may not be appropriate to use when dealing with professionals, such as doctors, because health professionals have desensitized themselves to emotional appeals. For this reason, I minimized an over-the-top attempt at pathos on my presentation because I thought it would make me lose my credibility towards my audience (as you will see when I present on Wednesday) I thought this was a unique post that I could somewhat relate to my persuasive presentation...great job!
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI think this discussion of the acceptability of crying is very interesting and it made me think about my arguments again. Tomorrow, I give my presentation on the importance of emotions and proper emotion management in the field of teaching. You stated that in the article the writers claimed that it is better to cry; however, I wonder if this is always the truth. I honestly believe that it is important to let out your emotions and ideas and not bottle them up. But, is it best to hold those emotions in some times? For instance, even though it would be nice to let your emotions out, do you think you would continue to be respected if you cried in front of your students if you were a teacher, or broke down in front of your boss? Therefore, I appreciate the fact that you posted the exception to the end of your article.
Also, I like how you related crying to an appeal to emotions or pathos. In my presentation, I used an anecdote of a teacher who explains the emotional turmoil she experienced in her classroom and broke down in tears. When I used this anecdote, I definitely was interested in an appeal to emotion. However, when I used it in my arguing to convince, the perspective from which I asked my audience to view the quote was one which would more thoroughly invoke logos. However, I think that images or videos of a person crying would most likely immediately spark pathos in the viewer. Therefore, I think the way crying is normally pathos-driven, although it can have logical appeal.
Any which way, I liked your blog, and appreciate your thorough analysis of both sides of the issue of expressing emotion.
-James
I cry all the time Amanda! I'm just kidding. You bring up some really good points. I've never thought of crying in that way before-as a persuasive element. Now that I know this, I wonder if I will be less inclined to be persuaded to do something if someone starts crying. It is very stereotypical that when we think of a specific gender prone to crying, women invariably come to mind as opposed to men. I think vulnerability plays a really important role in why men do not cry or seem not to cry as often as women. Women are generally known as the more vulnerable between the sexes, and therefore many men do not openly cry in front of others because they do not want this image. This is a very interesting article. I guess I will try and cry more to release stress in my life :)
ReplyDelete-Kip